Well this past week has been eventful. Laura & Ronnie's wedding was last weekend - it was fun, but it wore me out! My ankles were pretty swollen by the end of the night, the most swollen I've ever seen! The indentions from my socks was probably close to an inch deep. I slept pretty much the entire next day... I received SO many sweet compliments - it helped boost my self esteem that day. Never lasts long enough, ha.
I've had lots of emotional break downs this week.. I hate going to the gym and am so embarrassed by how big I'm getting. If I hadn't widened out, my arms had stayed the same size and I didn't gain so much fat around my hips and lower back I don't think I would feel as self-conscious, but I can't be sure. I've cried a lot about it. I'm also afraid I won't be able to get small again and get back to healthy eating PP. Healthy eating has been such a struggle lately, I'm tempted to think I'll struggle with it forever now!
I hate that I'm so obviously big. Lord have mercy on the stranger that thinks I may want to talk about my pregnancy with them. I am not friendly about it. Which is a big reason I'm not taking any more clients -- I don't want to talk about my pregnancy at work with strangers. I have one client I especially like and I feel pretty comfortable talking with her about it, but that's it.
It also drives me crazy that people ask me how I'm feeling. One day I'll snap and tell them specifically how miserable I am. I'd think the bags under my eyes and general less-than-excited demeanor would give it away. I avoid eye contact as much as possible.
I've had lots of emotional break downs this week.. I hate going to the gym and am so embarrassed by how big I'm getting. If I hadn't widened out, my arms had stayed the same size and I didn't gain so much fat around my hips and lower back I don't think I would feel as self-conscious, but I can't be sure. I've cried a lot about it. I'm also afraid I won't be able to get small again and get back to healthy eating PP. Healthy eating has been such a struggle lately, I'm tempted to think I'll struggle with it forever now!
I hate that I'm so obviously big. Lord have mercy on the stranger that thinks I may want to talk about my pregnancy with them. I am not friendly about it. Which is a big reason I'm not taking any more clients -- I don't want to talk about my pregnancy at work with strangers. I have one client I especially like and I feel pretty comfortable talking with her about it, but that's it.
It also drives me crazy that people ask me how I'm feeling. One day I'll snap and tell them specifically how miserable I am. I'd think the bags under my eyes and general less-than-excited demeanor would give it away. I avoid eye contact as much as possible.
How far along: 28 Weeks
Total weight gain: 22lbs... So I'm not sure if I should throw away the goal of only gaining 25lbs this entire pregnancy? It would make sense that if I stop eating junk and just eat healthy meals that I wouldn't gain much more b/c I may lose fat I keep on me just by eating crap. But I'm not sure.
Maternity clothes: Yes
Stretch marks: No
Sleep: Quantity over quality.
Best moment of this week: Joy and her kids came to visit - it was nice to be able to visit with them without having to travel, lol. I planned to clean and cook before they came, but I felt pretty awful that morning and ended up staying in bed. Joy & Eleanor cleaned the kitchen and it was amazing. :)
Miss anything: Being small!
Movement: Yes :D
Food cravings: Junk food! Candy, ice cream, cookies, bacon cheeseburger - you name it.
Anything making you queasy or sick: No
Have you started to show yet: Yes.
Gender: GIRL <3
Labor signs: occasional braxton hicks
Belly button in or out: In
Wedding rings on or off: On
Happy or moody most of the time: Moody - pray for Steve! haha
Looking forward to: Holding my little girl & being skinny again! and RUNNING
Exercise: I started a challenge a couple weeks ago from Lauren Gleisberg, whom I found on instagram - it's been mostly weights and machines and has been a lot easier to follow along than TIU workouts because I have to modify a lot less. So I've enjoyed doing that, even though I go back and forth about 'what's the point' when I keep over eating so I don't see results anyway. But it's good for my heart, and it'll be easier for me to get back to exercising after if I keep up even anything now. I also remind myself how darn heavy carseats are when I'm doing upper body ;) Also that the more muscle I retain during my pregnancy, the more I will have to show (and use) when I slim down PP (because I keep hearing that I will from breastfeeding..)
I'm not sure why but when I went on a walk the other night my uterus started contracting and it stayed tight for my last little bit home and until I got in the shower. Maybe a total of 8 minutes? I think I may have been dehydrated. But I was surprised I had to stop after just 1 mile of walking. I've only had this happen from walking. Not that I walk much anyway, it's still 90 degrees outside most days and I usually pick the elliptical or stair master over the treadmill if I'm at the gym.
After my client's sessions are over I am not training or working out at the gym anymore. I'm just too embarrassed and I'd rather workout at home in my sports bra anyway. Maybe I can convince Steve to get a treadmill for Christmas.. hehe ;)
Additional Symptoms: My upper abdominals have separated. It felt pretty similar to when the lower ones did - hurt one day, separated the next. It doesn't hurt bad, but it is definitely uncomfortable and feels literally like my abs are being stretched apart. She's still very active (I love it!!) and sometimes she hits/kicks straight down - it's pretty startling, but when I get on the bed and lay my head down and stick my butt up in the air, she'll move. I also do this if my stomach hurts (either uterus/abdomen growing or actual stomach from eating too much or just junk food) or if my back hurts and it helps immensely. Laying on my stomach, using my pregnancy pillow like a tube around my belly for support, also helps. I'm itching like crazy. I could not sleep without our humidifier.
I'm not sure why but when I went on a walk the other night my uterus started contracting and it stayed tight for my last little bit home and until I got in the shower. Maybe a total of 8 minutes? I think I may have been dehydrated. But I was surprised I had to stop after just 1 mile of walking. I've only had this happen from walking. Not that I walk much anyway, it's still 90 degrees outside most days and I usually pick the elliptical or stair master over the treadmill if I'm at the gym.
After my client's sessions are over I am not training or working out at the gym anymore. I'm just too embarrassed and I'd rather workout at home in my sports bra anyway. Maybe I can convince Steve to get a treadmill for Christmas.. hehe ;)
Additional Symptoms: My upper abdominals have separated. It felt pretty similar to when the lower ones did - hurt one day, separated the next. It doesn't hurt bad, but it is definitely uncomfortable and feels literally like my abs are being stretched apart. She's still very active (I love it!!) and sometimes she hits/kicks straight down - it's pretty startling, but when I get on the bed and lay my head down and stick my butt up in the air, she'll move. I also do this if my stomach hurts (either uterus/abdomen growing or actual stomach from eating too much or just junk food) or if my back hurts and it helps immensely. Laying on my stomach, using my pregnancy pillow like a tube around my belly for support, also helps. I'm itching like crazy. I could not sleep without our humidifier.
No comments:
Post a Comment