I have been too scared to share publicly, fearing an immediate loss after the world knew.
But today marks the start of the second trimester and I've nothing but normal pregnancy symptoms and no reason, but my own fear, to think something may be wrong. The due date is November 2nd, and we've had two ultrasounds that looked normal. Heart rate measured in both around 165 so that's always a relief! However, the pregnancy I lost in September was 24 hours after a perfect US at ten weeks. So that's always in the back of my mind. I go through so many emotions. When we had our last appointment with my midwife, Marilyn was so sick and couldn't stop throwing up in the background of my having a vaginal ultrasound. It may have been one of those moments I never forget. A sort of beautiful chaos. I mean, poor thing was ill, but I feel so lucky to have her, and frankly thankful that until that day she'd never been sick like that! Sometimes the thought of a newborn and two-year old is overwhelming, I can't help but wonder how on Earth I'll keep up with Marilyn when I've been up all night feeding baby. And how she'll do with the big transition to sister :)
deets:
weight: same as the day I found out - 141.maternity clothes? Nope. Wearing my size four jeans right now. They'll be tight as I bloat by the end of the day, though.
stretch marks? nope.
cravings: very similar to previous pregnancies - chili hotdogs with mustard (only caved on the hot dog once, and made sure it was kosher at least. stood strong against chili so far.) specifically BRAUMS ice-cream (caved once.) cajun beans & rice. sandwiches, especially PB&J when morning sickness was at it's worst - felt soooo good on the tummy :)
what makes me queasy/sick: not eating more than a couple hours. I have to eat very small meals pretty much constantly. My nausea has been the worst this pregnancy and I've thrown up many times - I have never thrown up with a pregnancy before (except labor haha.) It grows worse as the day goes on, and definitely peaks in the evenings at the same time I am painfully bloated. Right now I only get nauseas in the late afternoon into the evenings. Random, inconsistent things can set it off. Once it was opening a jar of peanut butter - but that only happened once - for example. So odd. Things that have helped with morning sickness: peppermint gum. ginger ginger ginger. I am getting so sick of it but it helps. lemon water. saltines - which I would normally never eat.
Showing? If you know to look! In evenings I for sure look pregnant because of the extreme bloat. Below is an AM vs PM picture to show you what I mean. It's crazy. And it hurts. :(
I am so moody. my husband still seems surprised by this... it's so bad it makes me think we should limit children simply because pregnancy is so hard on our relationship. not to mention I feel so miserable the house falls apart. it's disgusting. we've had ants twice for the first times this pregnancy. i also fly off the handle and my anger is like unmanageable...
exercise: I've kept up with working out so well despite feeling miserable and exhausted. From nine to ten weeks I did only exercise a handful of times, though. I felt like I was dying. Google it. It's a popular feeling among women in the first trimester. lol Staying active on IG and wanting to "keep up appearances" really motivated me. Isn't that silly? I'll take it, though, because it worked! (Anyone else notice when someone you follow hasn't posted in over a month and you wonder if they're preggo? ha!) Following Tone it Up bikini series now. I will be investing in pelvic floor guidance from physical therapists and trainers that specialize in this as TIU currently doesn't delve into this aspect of women's whole health. I'll go more into this pelvic floor health journey of mine soon. Probably next post. I've learned so much and I cannot believe how relevant it is for all women, pregnant or not, vaginal delivery or cesarean, etc... and there I go... Like I said, I'll stop now and get into this in a separate post soon (mostly for my own sake of getting thoughts together and something to update as I grow on this journey.)
